hankconnor:

Hank: At least if I die I’ll be doing something I love

Connor, an android: being a good cop?

Hank, a millenial: No, dying.

detroitbecomesmemes:

RK900 Has Big dick energy and I can’t handle it.

Dominate me you tall beautiful piece of fucking sexy plastic

asmara124:

A conversation I had today

kanisblabbus:

When you’re the Antichrist but no one gave you an instruction manual

the-restless-brook:

Friend: I don’t think I could live with a symbiote.

Me: I could.

Friend: How do you know?

Me: I already live with a predator who bites the heads off her prey, thinks of me as furniture, and would probably eat me if I forgot to feed her.

Friend: Basically cat owners would be ideal hosts.

Me: Exactly.

fml-shar:

eddie brock is a fucking bottom and don’t you ever forget that

im-the-villain-or-am-i:

Friend: Why do you like the Eddie and Venom so much? 

Me: Because i crave the level of intimate friendship they have. They aren’t ever alone and i am so god damn jealous

Friend: Oh i thought it was the smut 

Me: that too yea 

incorrect-venom-quotes:

Eddie, sprays some hairspray up to a lighter, causing a fire:

Venom: -High pitched scream- YOU BETTER STOP! STOP! BITCH, STOP! AHHH!